Background
==Invasion Day (I-Day) +15 months==
Their footsteps echo in the cavernous expanse of the warehouse as the small group hurriedly walks through a seemingly
endless maze of shelves overloaded with the various curiosities and artifacts that a continental empire acquires while it is in the process of becoming a global empire. After a solid 10 minute walk through the labyrinthine storage facility, the group stops. The man in the lead checks an invoice against a number stenciled on what appears to be a long, vaguely coffin shaped box wrapped in heavy chains and covered in softly glowing runes. He takes a deep breath and reminds himself of the dire situation humanity was now in, with an advanced and seemingly unstoppable alien army laying waste to Earth's cities.
Desperate times call for desperate measures.. A moment later he steps back and gestures to the box.
"Open it up."
Two of the most unlucky men in the world go to work on the box with bolt cutters and crowbars while the other three take defensive positions around the box and ready their submachine guns. The Man With The Invoice produces a large book from the satchel at his hip and opens it to a bookmarked page. He moistens his lips with his tongue and dries his forehead with a kerchief as the men start to pry off the lid. No sooner does the lid come free from the coffin when a pale white horror erupts from within and turns the two unfortunate men into meat paste with two quick, vicious strikes from his unnaturally long hands.
Shit! thinks The Man With The Invoice And The Book immediately before wetting himself for the first time since college. The three men with the guns open fire, but the creature is no longer there. Somehow it is now behind one of the gunmen and already reaching around to rip the poor guy's throat out.
"Owha Tador Kiam!" shouts The Man With The Invoice, The Book And The Recently Soiled Pants at the horror, reciting the words written in the ancient tome. The effect is immediate. The creature's claw-like fingers halt a millimeter from the lucky soldier's neck, then pull back slowly as the monster calmly turns to face the man with the book.
You dirty motherfu**er, thinks Raith as the powerful geas washes over him and forces him to submit to the book-wielder's command. Raith sniffs the air, detecting an unpleasant odor as his eyes notice the wet patch spread across the man's crotch.
You have to be kidding me. How did one such as you get your hands on that book, I wonder? How embarrassing. His eyes then dance across the strange weapons that thundered at him just a moment before.
And just how long have I been at rest this time?
Whatever. I may have to do what you say but I don't have to like it. Raith sighs before he speaks for the first time. His voice is little more than an icy, yet strangely loud whisper as the geas compels him to submit to the book-wielder.
"Hello! My name is Raith. How may I help you today.." Raith smirks mercilessly,
"..Mr. Peepants?"
The Man With The Invoice, The Book And The Recently Soiled Pants stares at the pale-white creature for a full minute, careful to keep his eyes away from the remains of Bill and Jimmy that were scattered around the runed coffin-box. Eventually he answers the pale thing staring mercilessly at him.
"I..I order you to help me win a war."
Raith looks again at the spreading wetness now running down the book-wielder's right leg before replying,
"You are a Warlord?" he asks doubtfully. He shakes his head in wonder before resuming.
"Very well, Warlord Peepants. Where and when is the next battle in this war of which you speak?"
==Victory Day (V-Day)==
ARES Director of Occult Studies Harvey Pinn, aka The Man With The Invoice, The Book And The Now Clean Pants, aka Warlord Peepants, is in his office putting the finishing touches on a batch of reports when the news broadcast of the final victory over the alien invaders comes over his personal commlink. A satisfied smile spreads across the man's face as he stops working and sinks back into his chair, feeling as if a giant weight has suddenly been lifted from his head. As an ARES Director he knew humanity was winning the war and that final victory had become inevitable, but now it was official.
This day will henceforth be known as the day humanity overcame their darkest hour. A new era begins!
His reverie is broken by a sudden and familiar presence he feels standing behind his chair.
Raith. I don't recall summoning you to my office.
ARES Director Harvey Pinn would never be so foolish to call a being such as Raith a friend but they had developed a certain...professional rapport working together over the course of the War. But in all those months he couldn't recall a single time Raith came to his office without being summoned. He swivels his chair around to face the undead ARES operative.
"Oh, hello Raith. I suppose you've heard the news! We won! The War is over and a new day begins!"
"Yes, Warlord Peepants. So I understand."
As hard as he tried, Harvey never could get Raith to stop referring to him by that ridiculous name.
"Of course it will take decades to rebuild our shattered cities, but with all the captured alien tech we've acquired we will be stronger than ever!" Harvey continues wistfully as he stares off to the side, dreaming of a glorious future.
"I tell ya, Raith. When the news came over the commlink just now it was like..I don't know..being free, ya know? Like I was suddenly free of a great burden."
"Oh yes. I believe I know exactly what you mean."
Something in Raith's voice sends alarm bells running through Harvey's brain. He refocuses his attention on the undead man grinning down at him.
"Heh..uh..something on your mind, Sport?"
"The book. Where is it? I know you keep it here, in your office."
For the first time since Raith appeared in his office ARES Director Harvey Pinn tries to put some steel in his voice as he addresses the ARES operative under his command.
"Now see here, Raith. I don't know what's gotten into you but -" Harvey's face drops as he suddenly remembers.
The War. The War is over. He remembers back, all those long months ago, the day he first met Raith in that damnable warehouse. He remembers what he said to Raith. What he ordered Raith to do.
'I order you to help me win a war.' He has completed his task. He is free once again. Oh shit. Then, for only the second time since his wild college days, ARES Director Harvey Pinn wets himself.
A look of distaste briefly passes over Raith's face as he sees the spreading deluge.
"Oh, Peepants. Calm your bladder, please! I just want the book so I can destroy it and never again have to suffer the indignation of being commanded by the likes of you. Tell me where the book is and you will never have to see me again." Raith intensifies his unnerving grin as he glares down at Harvey.
Harvey Peepants panics.
"OwhaTadorKiam! OwhaTadorKiam! OwhaTadorK-"
Raith sighs and rolls his eyes.
"Yeah, no. That only works if you're holding the book, dumbass."
"...damn."
"Yeah. Damn."
